Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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