We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
third nipple confirmed
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
