My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Randomize
