so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
