i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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