What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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