stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
