That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
