Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
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