escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
