I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
