I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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