She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
