first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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