there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She told me I should be a condom model.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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