once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
