Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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