The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
