life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
