Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
