Got a toothbrush?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
