hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
God, you're like boner-b-gone
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
