She's JV to your varsity
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm jealous of your bromance
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
