I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
