I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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