Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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