Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
that may or may not have been my penis.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
