He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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