I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
