Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
