if only i could text you this smell
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
