I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
