dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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