Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
