Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Randomize
