We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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