Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
