"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
