I heard we made out
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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