Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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