I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
