i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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