Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
