"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
