Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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