oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
