Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
