Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize