I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
