You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize