So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
