I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
