Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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