Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
