I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
