I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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