my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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