walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I will be naked everywhere
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
