i always forget guys have bellybuttons
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
