i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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