im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
