yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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