Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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