i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
