he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
