hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
